Tuesday, March 31, 2015

On our third wedding anniversary

On March 31, 2015: happy third wedding anniversary to Sean, the love of my life! 

Sean,

My best friend, partner, soulmate and rock since 2008: we've been through a lot together, and through everything, you've been right by my side encouraging me and supporting me. 

You give me life each day. Your love surrounds me and all that I do; it cushions me, protects me. You are an incredible husband, father and provider. Until I met you, I didn't know anyone else in the world could match my soul so perfectly, the way you do.

Unspoken, you just get it. With you, I can just BE. Perfectly, completely, just BE. 

Looking back:
breast cancer
LFS
wedding
surgeries
honeymoon in Paris and Italy
Tour de Pink 2013 & 2014
my first half-marathon
building a house
getting a puppy
new jobs
the adoption process
the day Adele was born
becoming parents (the first diaper change, the first injury)
Ireland 

Looking forward:
On April 18 we remember that call four years ago that confirmed breast cancer
On April 26 we celebrate Adele turning 1, and how we felt this time last year
Now our little lady will be 1. 
Tour de Pink 2015 (this time together)



























To many, three years of marriage is NBD. But to us, it's amazing. Because before we even walked down the aisle we had our "in sickness and in health." We know how precious life is. We know what we face with my cancer history and LFS. But we also know what we have. And what we have is everything.

What we have is each other.

What we have is a home built on love and trust and pure passion. Our little family of four, which I still can't believe when I look at it, is the best thing that's ever happened to me. YOU are the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Yes, we have a history of hardship and challenges; of life just throwing things at us.

But we also have everything. 

What a whirlwind three years! I can't wait to see what's in store for the next 33. 



Thursday, March 26, 2015

Happy 11 months, Miss Adele!

Bringing Adele home from the hospital at 2 days old


11 months on March 26, 2015! I couldn't get a good, solid picture because she kept moving around! Cannot keep her in one place anymore!


Wednesday, March 25, 2015

What does healing feel like?

Adele gives “kisses” by leaning close to my face and opening her mouth on my chin or eye. The slobbery deliciousness is almost too much to handle.

We now have this little bubbly wonder who is, all of a sudden, a person with a mind of her own and plans of her own.

And when I go into her room in the morning and see her standing up in her crib, holding onto the rails, smiling, her eyes adjusting to me turning on the light and her curly hair sticking up all over the place, something big and strong just TAKES me. This force I can’t explain. Of love and passion and wanting to protect her and scoop her up and give her the world. 

Playing dress-up with Cecelia <3

And when it’s just me and her, like it was last week, and I was giving her a bath, and she was splashing in her little baby tub (soaking my leggings and the floor around us), I was just so content and at peace. I felt like this little space, with just me and Baby, in our upstairs bathroom, with her in the tub just exploring and splashing, and me just sitting there and watching her, and showing her how to use little cups to pour water, I just felt so at peace. So content. I can’t explain it. Like we were frozen in time in our little world.

My heart is literally exploding with excitement when I think of all the things I can do with her as she continues to grow. This spring as we rejuvenate the flowerbed in the front of our house we are going to prepare a little garden for Adele. It will be on the side of the house and it will become her very own place to plant whatever she likes. My mom did the same thing for me.

Obviously this year she will be a little too young to pick her own flowers and plants, but she can help me plant and get her hands dirty and discover the earth and the flowers and the little bugs below the surface. The thought of us doing this together makes me want to burst with joy.

As she turns 11 months old tomorrow I am just so incredibly overwhelmed with the person she’s already become, and can’t wait for more. She blows kisses and gives high-fives and waves hello and goodbye and reaches for Mom, Dad and Campbell, and plays music on her lips. She makes her own “decisions” about when she will fling her Cheerios all over the kitchen or if she wants to wear a bib or not. (Sometimes, and none of the time, respectively).


Now that she’s crawling and basically cruising, getting her dressed and changing her diaper are no longer still, peaceful smiley moments when I look into her eyes and we “chat” for a few minutes. Now she wants to “leave.” There is no keeping her still during diaper or clothing changes. It becomes a whole new thing. A whole new physical activity as I try to keep this 22+ pound baby in one spot. Sometimes I dress her on the floor, sometimes I dress her on the bed in the guest room, and sometimes I have to put her in her crib, sans diaper, until I can regain my strength, energy and composure.

And I love EVERY SINGLE MINUTE. I wrote recently in a post about how exhausted I am. That by the time I get to work at 8 a.m. I am literally spent just from our morning routine. But since I wrote that post I am more energized. I am better. I’m not entirely getting all of our laundry done, but I am getting a lot more done and am a lot more energized. I did fold about 80 percent of my laundry last week, which was a huge accomplishment.

It was definitely a slump.

Dr. Kelly thinks the being JUST SO DAMN TIRED is a combination of new motherly tasks and adjusting to them (dressing and collecting a now-mobile baby) and the fact that I really have been go-go-go the past four years if you think about my wedding, breast cancer diagnosis, building a house, six surgeries, LFS diagnosis, getting a dog, the adoption process, two new jobs, adopting a baby, becoming a mother …….

Not that NOW is the time to rest, because it certainly isn’t. But maybe now I am finally catching my breath and I am just SO tired. Maybe now, with much of my previous anxiety from a lot of that aforementioned stuff mostly gone, I am realizing I am tired. I don’t have the cancer/wedding/adoption process places to put my energy. Without anxiety fueling my energy maybe I am just tired. And that’s a good, healthy thing. As per Dr. Kelly. And as per myself.

Some of those things were deliberate, and some were unexpected and I just had to deal with them. Dealing with the unexpected (aka: breast cancer, LFS, and everything that came/comes with it) causes anxiety. Dealing with the deliberate (aka: building a house, getting married, switching jobs, adopting a child) also causes anxiety. Anxiety fueled a lot of my energy. Anxiety turned into energy as a coping mechanism. Was it good energy? Not necessarily. But it was energy nonetheless.

And now I don’t so much have that anymore.

Stress = energy
No stress = no energy

Climbing on Mama is one of Adele's favorite activities, and it makes Mama very happy :)

Before, the stress of certain things was fueling my “crazy.” It was causing me to continue to add things to my plate to manage my anxiety.

I do still have anxiety with the LFS and breast cancer, and of course I have stress with being a mother and working full time. And I DO still add things to my plate, like plans and Tour de Pink and trips.

But a lot of what was causing pure, unfiltered anxiety (planning my wedding, waiting to finalize the adoption, waiting for surgery, recovering from surgery), is not so much there anymore. Does that make sense?

Now I have TIME to be tired. Does that make sense? 

It does to me, in my mind; I just hope I am writing it in a way that does.

I have a moment where my anxiety is less than before, and in this moment I am allowing the energy to wane.

Letting the energy, that was specifically fueled by anxiety, to wane.

And the energy that’s fueled simply by life (by Sean, by Adele, by work, by our social life, by love and passion) has emerged.

For me, there are two types of energy. One (anxiety-fueled energy) is slowly dissipating. Without it, I am tired. Tired, in a different way.

No longer consumed by the need to keep or make things perfect as a way to have “control” over my life.

Maybe before I would never let the laundry go unfolded, and never let my boots stay on the steps instead of my closet BECAUSE I NEEDED CONTROL, BECAUSE I FELT OUT OF CONTROL.

Maybe before I wouldn’t allow myself to rest on the couch at night instead of making plans and doing things BECAUSE I NEEDED CONTROL, BECAUSE I FELT OUT OF CONTROL.

Maybe, perhaps, now, I don’t have that. Plain and simple. Nothing terrible will happen if the laundry goes unfolded. Four years ago I would have strongly disagreed.

This is healing.

Healing disguised as yawning. But healing nonetheless.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Pink Flash is back!

Tour de Pink 2015. I'm doing it. And Team Pink and Pearls is BACK!

I decided to take on Tour de Pink again and ride with Sean and Team Pink and Pearls


While this year's journey, challenge and experience will differ from my first year, in that I won't be able to put as much training into my ride (we have a baby now!), I still plan to do my absolute best, and ride my absolute hardest, because the cause remains near and dear to my heart. Since my first Tour de Pink in 2013 I have become more involved with the YSC, and when the ride was announced last month it became clear to me that I was going to do this again! 


Please consider supporting me and Team Pink and Pearls as we prepare for this exciting journey!


This year I have made an exciting and challenging commitment to participate in YSC Tour de Pink, a three-day, 200 mile bike ride for breast cancer. I know I can do it with your help encouraging me and supporting me with a donation.

When I rode in my first Tour de Pink in 2013 I conquered more than those 200 miles on my bike; I gained 200 lifelong friends. I became part of an organization that is changing the way we think about breast cancer and how we support those with breast cancer. I joined Tour de Pink, a rolling community that loved and supported me from the first moment they met me. 

Now the Young Survival Coalition and Tour de Pink are an important part of my life. It is my turn to give back. That's why I'm riding.

I'm riding for myself. I'm riding for Kara and Kayla, two TdP riders and young women affected by breast cancer who passed away in the past two years. I'm riding for breast cancer survivors and patients, and their families, friends and support systems. 

And I need your help.

Your donation will go to support Young Survival Coalition and ensure that no young woman faces breast cancer alone. YSC is the premier organization providing supportive services and education resources for young women affected by breast cancer.

YSC Tour de Pink is much more than just a bike ride. It’s a chance to honor survivors, raise awareness and support important programs for young women affected by breast cancer. I hope I can count on you to help me reach my fundraising goal!

How will your donation help?

$25 could fund YSC materials at three healthcare providers’ offices.
$100 could provide a Newly Diagnosed Navigator to six women when they need it most.
$250 could allow us to train four survivors to serve as a peer supporters.
$500 could fund a Young Empowered Survivor (YES) educational program.
$1,200 could pay for two young women to travel to our annual conference for young women affected by breast cancer. 

Any amount helps!

As I train for this amazing ride I plan to update this page frequently along with my social media accounts so that all of my supporters can see my progress.

Thank you in advance for your support. I truly appreciate your generosity.

Life is short and should be celebrated. In October I am going to celebrate life by cycling from Philadelphia to Maryland. 

Every dollar raised and every mile cycled brings us one step closer to ENSURE NO YOUNG WOMAN FACES BREAST CANCER ALONE.

I can. I will.

Do it with me.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Under a pile of laundry

Warning: there are going to be some not-so-pretty confessions, which I am sure many working-mom-breast-cancer-survivors-LFS-patients can relate to, no? 

I truly apologize for not updating. A LOT has happened since I last wrote. Let's start with the big stuff first: my nose biopsy came back benign, and since my last post we have had Pink Zone 2015 and the YSC Summit in Houston. 

Oh, and I'm doing Tour de Pink East Coast 2015. Oh, and we have nine people on Team Pink and Pearls.

I feel like each of those things (Pink Zone, Tour de Pink, YSC Summit) each need their own blog posts, but for now I'll just update, update, update.

We are all good and healthy and Adele is doing beautifully! She squeals when she sees Mama and Dada and Campbell, stands up in her crib, and crawls SUPER fast!

The YSC Summit, if I could even sum it up into a few words, was a phenomenal weekend. I connected with my Tour de Pink family, many of whom I'll ride with this October; I met some other LFS warriors (young women like myself, also breast cancer survivors); made 500 new friends; attended eye-opening sessions on sexuality and intimacy, healthy eating and nutrition, living "green" and organic, life after breast cancer, etc., and tried Crossfit for the first time!

Snow day kisses and selfies <3

Peas, cheese and Cheerios!

I feel like I've wanted to start this post so many times but I always put it off, which makes writing harder when I DO get around to it, because then I have more and more to say. The truth is that although things have been going really well, I've been really overwhelmed lately - more so than usual. Yes, I'm always overwhelmed in one way or another, but usually not in a way that I feel like I'm dropping some of those many balls I have in the air.

Everything really truly IS going well. Work is busy. Our social life is busy. Adele is great. We are all great. We had a busy February, and this spring brings even more plans, including Adele's first birthday party, which, of course, I'm already planning.

But on the inside I am SO overwhelmed. I still feel like I'm keeping up with everything in one way (being a mom, working full time, going to cycling and yoga), but on the other hand, I haven't unpacked from Florida in December, and most recently from Houston earlier this month. Laundry is piling up. I always manage to get Adele's laundry done and her clothes lined up for the week, but my laundry is a different story. It just doesn't happen. I get most things DONE, but it's harder and harder. The motivation is barely there. I'm still DOING, but it's harder to DO. And it's not the extra stuff - Tour de Pink or being on the Hadassah board. I'm making those work WITH me; I'm in control of them and not the other way around. (i.e.: I'm not going to be riding all of Tour de Pink and I'm not going to be riding with clips. I really want to ride this year, but I want to do it MY way, and that means I don't have time to train for 7 months like I did in 2013, and I don't want to force myself to wear the clips if they freak me out. -- and I'm not going to every meeting or social plan or signing up for everything. I'm doing what I want and when I want; making the plans I want and making THEM work for ME. I don't force myself to read all of my book club books, and sleep ranks higher than shaving my legs) So I'm balancing, YES, and I'm getting it all done and I'm making it happen, I'm just so UN-motivated. I am overwhelmed with my feelings more than with my activities and commitments. Does that make sense?

I just feel like everything is piling: laundry, emails, household chores, little tasks. It's sometimes too much to bring my gym bag in from the car. Confessions, because this is an open, honest blog: Did you catch the part about my suitcase not being unpacked from Florida in December?! Because that's ridiculous.

It's sometimes too much to bring my boots upstairs after I take them off. I haven't put away my laundry in forever. Literally, I can't remember the last time I PUT away my laundry. I just dig out clean clothes from the dryer or hamper. My socks ... they don't ever match. Because I haven't put away my clean laundry.

--ok, this post STARTED as a short update post, but now that I am writing I am kind of just letting the confessions and feelings pour out.

I'm embarrassed when I get my pedis that I haven't shaved my legs. Yes, I have time to go get a pedi, but not shave my legs.

I feel like there is no amount of coffee in the world that can keep me awake and get me through the day. I am drinking like GALLONS of it, yet yawning through the morning, afternoon and evening. (Even though I'm sleeping 7-8 hours a night).

I have ZERO energy. And I don't know why. Is it all the hats I wear or all the balls I have in the air or all my ducks I try so hard to keep in a row?

I can sign up for Tour de Pink and essentially train to ride 200 miles on a bike, yet I can't put away my laundry?

I can get my manis and pedis and get my eyebrows waxed, but I can't unpack my suitcase from three months ago?

I can be an awesome mom and work 8 hours a day (including writing research articles from abstracts), yet I can't keep up with our thank-you notes?

I can plan and host successful parties and events, and (to date), raise $1,700 for Tour de Pink, yet I can't take off my makeup before bed or floss as much as I should?

I can eat a healthy diet and spend extra time and money buying and preparing fruit, yet unloading the dishwasher is a daunting task?

I hate writing posts like this because I pride myself on "having everything together."

But the truth is I don't. I don't claim to, either.

And I've always just said it's OK - that the big stuff matters, that as long as we are all happy and healthy, and the baby is fed and warm and safe and happy, and that I go to work and I get up everyday and I still sing to Adele in the mornings (which I do), that I could give myself a pass for not always doing the laundry. After all, I have a lot on my plate. I work full time and we have a baby. I'm also dealing with living with LFS - the medical stress that adds. I always said it was just OK as long as the important stuff was getting done.

But now this needs to be brought up to Dr. Kelly, who I will see on Friday. The simple tasks seem too much. It's always been the big stuff before. The half marathon or the 200 mile bike ride or the baby. Not the laundry or the dishes.

Now it's the laundry and the dishes. I just feel so tired.


My Barbells for Boobs shirt I got from the YSC Summit

Pink Zone 2015!


YSC Summit: taking advantage of the photo props =)

THOSE EYES!

YSC Summit with Abby, Lynn and Nicole!

Crossfit with Barbells for Boobs at the YSC Summit!


Again, there is so much more I can and want to write about, but I want to get this post out to let everyone know I still exist and I'm still marching along, despite the feeling of drowning under piling laundry.

I'm OK. We're OK. I'll get through this. Now you know I'm not perfect :)

And I'm hitting "publish" before I change my mind. GO.



Thursday, February 12, 2015

Unleash the beast (and other things)

On Saturday and Sunday mornings I spin. I spin hard. And I love it. I am a beast on the bike.

With the lights turned down low, the music is pumping, my legs are pumping, my heart is pumping. Sweat is literally falling from me. The instructor tells us to increase our RPM, add a gear, get up in the saddle, hands at position 2. Hands at position 4. Push up the hill. Take away two gears and get back in the saddle. RPMs increase. Hands off the handlebars. Take a swig of water, wipe my face. And pile the gears back on. We're ready for hill No. 2. 

I am a BEAST.

I love the loud music, the cheering from my fellow classmates, the instructor's encouraging words, the high-fives at the end. For one hour on spin days, I unleash my inner beast. And when I'm done, drenched in sweat and stomach rumbling, I want more and more and more. I do best with group work. I do best with motivating instructors. I do best in a class environment, where we are all cheering each other on. 

And I think, wow, spinning is really my thing.

Until I'm on the yoga mat. At the end of practice as I turn gently to one side after Shavasana, my hand is rooted into the floor and I pause for a few seconds before I push myself up into sitting. And in that moment I want to cry because I am truly thankful for my body and my practice. In that moment, after one hour of whatever I just did, whether it was hot, restorative or power yoga, I am really, truly at peace with my body. And I think, wow, yoga is really my thing. 

Until I'm pounding the pavement with my feet, running my own race, every time I run. Every time I finish a run, whether it's a training run or a competitive race, I cross my own finish line. When I reach new PRs. When I shave 20 seconds off my mile. Each little victory is a huge victory because I brought myself there. 

I brought myself to and through the finish lines of Tour de Pink and my first half marathon. And I bring myself to and through every yoga practice and every spin class and every run, whether it's 2 miles or 13.1. 


So what's really "my thing"? It's all of the above. I am just now realizing I can have a lot of things. And I can do and love all of them simultaneously. I kept trying to put a label on it. I always thought you're either a runner or a yogi or a cyclist. I may do one better than the other two, or love one more than the others, but I am all three. 

Yes, running is my first true love. And I do consider myself a runner. But I also love cycling and I also love yoga, and I get something different out of each one of them. I'm less experienced in yoga and cycling, but that doesn't mean they can't be my passions. I can want to succeed at them and want to work at them. 

And in taking classes at PYP I've rediscovered my love for yoga and cycling. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop running. I'll ALWAYS run. And I want to do another half marathon when the time is right. But right now I'm finding my yoga practice and my cycling legs again. I'm finding myself again on the mat and on the bike.

And I'm allowed to have all of it. I'm allowed to have more than one "thing." And I think that's good for me. Interchanging running, yoga and cycling brings out the best in my athleticism. 



Each one brings a different kind of stress relief. Each one is fun in a unique way. And each one keeps me (relatively) sane. And each one brings out my best self. And each one shows me self-love and appreciation. And each one brings out my inner beast. Whether I'm crushing a 10 mile run or pushing up a steep hill on the bike or breathing through a screaming pigeon on the mat (there's a reason they call it "screaming"), I am pushing myself to the extreme. I know my limits and I would never make myself sick or hurt myself. I know when to tone down. I know when to put a block under my arms or decrease my gear or slow down. I know when to take a water break. 

I know where I can go before it's too much. I know how far to push. I know that place - the place where I've exhausted all my reserves and accomplished something new and exciting. I know that place, and I go there with running, cycling and yoga. 

Remember how much I LOVED having those personal training sessions? Where I was introduced to bench pressing and TRX? I loved that too. I owned that kettle ball. I owned those planks. I was a beast then, too.

The appeal isn't just the exercise and stress relief, though of course those are huge bonuses. The appeal is seeking my own personal challenge and conquering it. 

On other topics, this last week or so has been pretty interesting, to say the least. In no chronological or order of importance, Sean hit a deer with his car - he's OK and the car isn't totaled but the repairs are pricey and the deer didn't make it; Lloyd had an accident on his birthday and is recovering and we are thinking of him and praying for him; and I had a "growth" on my nose removed and sent to pathology. 

Yes, some weird looking thing appeared on my nose like a week ago that wasn't quite a pimple and wasn't quite a mole. (It was red and raised and circular). It didn't sit right with me and it didn't go away, so I called the derm and got in right away. I saw him on Monday. He said it definitely is a "growth" (yes, he used that term and it grosses me out), he doesn't THINK it's malignant but he also doesn't think it's going away any time soon so he recommended he cut it off and send it to pathology. So, naturally, I agreed. Better to have this thing off and make sure it isn't skin cancer than to leave it there and wonder and worry.

A small thing compared to getting my boobs chopped off, but still I like to complain that I have to wear a bandaid on my nose for a week until this mini crater heals. Should have the results on Monday.

Happy things: the changes are coming SO QUICKLY with Adele! Not only does she now crawl forward, but she crawls forward FAST, pulls herself up onto things, knows high-five, has tried couscous and pancakes at school (and we are giving her teething wafers at home that she likes to swing near Campbell's mouth), and "talks" more and more! They always say the changes come quickly, but just like literally EVERYTHING ELSE in motherhood, I don't really quite know what people are talking about until it happens.



Just like when people told me, as we were bringing Adele home from the hospital, that we would never really sleep again. And I remember thinking, "that's OK, we don't need sleep, Look! We have a baby OMG" and then I don't remember the first three months because I don't know if I was ever fully awake or ever fully asleep.

Luckily, Adele is a wonderful sleeper and started sleeping through the night at 3 months. 

And then people told me as soon as she started crawling, watch out - it's a whole other ball game! And I remember thinking, "That's OK, I can keep up, no big deal" and now that she's crawling I am stunned and shocked by how fast she gets across the room and puts Campbell's nylabones in her mouth. 



Please send prayers and healing to Lloyd as he recovers. We are looking forward to Pink Zone March 1, followed by the YSC Summit in Houston, TX. And until then, we are celebrating Valentine's Day weekend with a brunch with the Dobersteins Saturday at the Nittany Lion Inn and dinner and a basketball game Saturday night, followed by a wine and chocolate party with my girlfriends Sunday, and then seeing 50 Shades (Reading it now and hoping to finish before Sunday!) in the theater. 

More to come later. Happy Valentine's Day!

Monday, February 2, 2015

Adele's rose gold key

I am amazed and blown away each day when I look at Adele. Some mornings I can’t stop staring at her.

When I’m changing her diaper or watching her play with her toys my eyes get locked into her eyes or on her cheeks or her hair or her hands and I can’t look away. I am amazed by this little beauty. This bubbly little baby who has so much passion, so much drive, so much strength, so much personality. I can’t stop staring. Each and every inch of her. I can’t believe it. No words exist to describe what it’s like to watch her grow, and to grow with her.

Superbowl party!

Her new noises, her new “words” and sounds, her new movements.

She’s added “uh oh” to her vocabulary, and uses it freely. That and “Dada.” And “Dadadadada.”

There is this brand new part of my heart that is discovered whenever she smiles or laughs. New parts of my heart are reached every day. I look at her, soft cheeks, curly hair, long eyelashes, and I still can’t believe this little creature is my daughter. So determined to move, reach, climb, sing, dance, play, laugh, smile, wave. Adele is a little party girl, just like me. She loves people, she loves to socialize, she loves to smile and get engaged in activities.

Adele with pigtails!

She smiles and cheers when she sees other children, and is busy right away as soon as we drop her off at school. She sits down with the other kids and gets right to her books.

When she reaches for me, or claps her hands when she sees me. When we pick her up from school and she waves and smiles and squeals with excitement. New parts of my heart.

It’s like she holds the key, and with each and every smile, each crease of her nose, each fluff in her hair, each point she makes with her fingers, each time she grabs my cheeks, she unlocks another chamber. This tiny rose gold key. And she unlocks new passages every day. New places. Places that were untouched until I become a mother.

I knew when I became a mom that my love for Adele would grow each day. But I didn’t expect my heart to grow new vessels, new chambers. I didn’t know my heart could get any fuller. Yet it does. It is heavy and light at the same time. It is filled with so much joy. So many feelings that don’t have names. So my thoughts that don’t come with their own pre-formed words.




We have all new routines now. Our evenings are spent with her on the floor as she explores all of her toys. Sometimes she pulls herself up on her walker, other times she crawls backwards throughout the living room. (we are still waiting on a forwards crawl!)

I am most content during these evenings, when I sit with her on the floor (with Campbell actively participating) as she explores her world.

Our bedtime routines have changed also, from an 8 p.m. final bottle to a 7-7:15 final bottle. Bedtime is now 7:30 or 8 p.m. and she is still sleeping through the night!

9 months on Jan. 26, 2015!

Our morning routines have changed. Now I need some extra time to do her hair. Her full, gorgeous curly hair.

Again, utterly blown away at how much she grows and changes.

With each new move, each unexpected laugh or sound, she unlocks another part of my heart I didn’t know was there.

I know it’s been a while since I wrote (more than a month!). We have all been doing wonderfully. Adele is developing beautifully, and each day she grows more. Since my half marathon I have taken a break from running, and have been going to hot yoga and cycling 2-3 times a week at a new studio I joined (PYP), and I LOVE it. It feels good to reopen my cycling legs and my yoga practice. These classes rejuvenate me.



When the weather starts to get better I will resume my outdoor running. For now, though, I am immersed in studio classes with my girlfriends.

We’ve had lots of fun plans, too, from yesterday’s Superbowl party to a pottery painting party with my girlfriends. We’re keeping warm and busy with book club, outings with friends and Penn State indoor sports watching.

Also, Pink Zone is coming up soon, and I am excited for Adele to attend her first game! This year I will be celebrating nearly 4 years as a breast cancer survivor.

February brings Valentine’s Day and a new season of House of Cards (Thank you, Netflix for getting me through the winter!), and March brings the YSC Summit in Texas and our THIRD wedding anniversary!

And April? Adele will be ONE!



My recent doc appointments have been great (with a great blood report from my oncologist). Work is amazing and busy and although I HATE the winter and all the snow we’ve gotten, I’ve managed to mostly keep my SAD at bay with those yoga and cycling classes, evenings with Adele, Sean and Campbell, and a big bowl of fruit I keep in my office at work. I know my body, and to survive the winter I need exercise and a lot of Vitamin C. That and a big bowl of cherries when Sean and I watch our TV shows together at night. That is my bliss. Baby sleeping soundly. Cherries. GIRLS on HBO. 


More to come later, but until now, pictures and love.

So, so much love. 
Photos by me

Still Being Molly

stillbeingmolly

Photo by Marjie

Photo by Marjie

Photo by Marjie

Photo by Marjie