I ran 13.1 miles and I didn't even chip my pedi

My first half marathon - Dec. 7, 2014

Written Tuesday, Dec. 9:

It’s taken me the past two days to become a person again, or at least enough of a person again to write a blog post about Sunday, the day I absolutely did run the hell out of my first half-marathon!

My goal was just to finish. My other goal was to maintain a 9-10 minute mile, taking into account hills, cold and wind. My other goal was to finish between 2 hours and 15 minutes and 2 hours and 30 minutes.

I finished in 2:02:40!

Race day breakfast: blueberries, a whole banana, coconut, walnuts, dried dates and raisins, and almond butter atop a bowl of oatmeal.

I feel so relieved. So happy. And yet I don’t think it’s really sunk in yet that I ran 13.1 miles just two days ago. Because I continue to be surprised at how my body is SO OUT OF WHACK RIGHT NOW. Like, why do I feel this way? Oh yeah, because I pushed myself and I pushed myself hard.

My lungs and stomach were (and still are) most bothersome, starting right after the race. Both an upset stomach and sore lungs following a race are normal.

Sore lungs: I pushed myself HARD up hills and breathed in cold air for more than two hours. Lungs feel a little better today, but boy did they hurt on Monday.

Upset stomach: again, completely normal. For me, anyway. I get an upset stomach after a long run but it usually goes away that night. Well this has lasted until this morning (Tuesday). All the nerves plus the anxiety plus the running and everything sloshing around plus the gross 5-hour energy I took plus my not-so-normal diet the day before.

My legs were sore Sunday and Monday; today they feel a lot better.

Other things I expected (and have experienced during 6-10 mile runs) were blisters between my toes and a sore upper back and neck. I didn’t have any of those.

I was surprised by the lack of foot pain, and also by the amount of lung and stomach pain.

But AH yes, it was so worth it!

So race day was gorgeous. It was in the mid-30s and sunny. The ground was dry, the sky was clear. It was cold but I didn’t feel it. My cousin Ethan ran it with me and kept me on pace, on target and motivated the whole way through. After mile 3 I started to have some fun and enjoy myself, especially running by open fields and cows. At about mile 6 I started to feel like I wanted to be done. But I quickly changed my thoughts to something else and just kept running. Just running, running, running. Enjoy the people, enjoy the scenery.

Ahhhhh... so addicted to that finish line!

The last few miles were hilly, followed by the hell hill at mile 11: a hill so steep I couldn’t tell if my legs were moving (they were). I had been warned about this hill. Everybody talks about this hill. It’s a constant steep, curvy hill that continues to curve up and up and up. I knew it was coming so I just pumped as hard as I could. And I think I only said “holy shit” once.

Then I saw the top of the hill and I knew at that point the finish line was close. Once I caught my breath after the hill and got reoriented in the world, my RunKeeper read 12.8 miles. I had always envisioned a strong finish, especially for this. I tried, I really did, to pick up my pace for a strong finish. And I ran as hard as I could. I couldn’t run any faster. In all of my previous runs, from 5Ks to 10Ks to Tour de Pink to the 10 miler, the finish line is what does it for me. Seeing the flags and the people line the road: that gets me PUMPED to the max. And I was this time. But I honestly couldn’t push any more. But I crossed the finish line with my legs high in the air and a smile on my face.

I don’t remember much else DURING the race: just that I kept focusing on running and kept telling myself it’s OK if it hurts because THIS is the day it’s supposed to hurt, THIS is the day I put everything into. THIS is the day where it all comes together – all the training I’ve done plus all the running I’ve done since my first 5K in 2011. It was all for that day. So I focused on that. I said to myself THIS is the day I can let myself hurt and be exhausted and push so hard. THIS is the day to run the hell out of the half marathon.

Ethan kept me notified of our pace, when we needed to speed up, and tips for form, as well as things to keep me motivated. “Only a 10K left.” I told him I would be happy when we were at the part where he said “only a 5K left.” When that time actually happened I was NOT impressed. 3.1 more miles?! SERIOUSLY?!!!!! Because it wasn’t just that hill that was rough at mile 11; in general the whole course was pretty hilly, especially towards the end with rolling hills. So I had already done a lot of hard pushing even before I approached the hill. I had already done a lot of hard pushing when I got to the 10 mile mark.

So after 10 miles I don't know what was going through my head. Just that I needed to keep going because I wanted to be done! The energy was fantastic, though, and I made some friends during the race.

Sean and Adele at the finish line! They both cheered me on the entire way!

Written Wedneday, Dec. 10:

Where am I today? Trying REALLY hard NOT to sign up for another race. Yes, I’m serious. I told myself once I finished my half marathon I was going to RELAX and not train for a while. Why? Because with Adele and our schedule I don’t have time right now to adequately train for anything, and trying to squeeze in training makes me more stressed and upset. I KNOW this. So I am actually crossing OFF my list the Rodney Myers 10 miler in March and not signing up for any race until July: the Firecracker 4K I run every 4^th of July. I know I need this break; I just have to remind myself I do.

When Adele is older and I have more adequate time to train, I will consider another 10K, 10 or 11 miler or half-marathon. YES, I will. But not now. Now I take a break from training. I’ve been training for something, whether it was Tour de Pink (my first 10K right before that) or my 10 miler last March or my half marathon, or random 5Ks, for the past two years. I’ve literally been in training for the past two years. IN ALL CAPS: TIME FOR A BREAK. I want to focus on Adele and not squeeze in runs Saturday and Sunday mornings (Adele time) or weekday evenings (Adele time). My training is done. My race is over. Time to relax.

In the meantime I will run leisurely just for fun and fitness because I love running. But I won’t be training for anything. And I won’t be signing up for anything. I am going to run for the fun of it. Whenever I can. Which actually might not be until spring. And it might be only one run a month. And I am SO OK with that.

So today, Wednesday, I feel pretty much back to normal; 99 percent. Sunday it was my legs and tummy. Monday it was my lungs and tummy. Tuesday it was my lungs and tummy (such an upset stomach I had to skip coffee – entirely – on Tuesday. Yes, that happened.) Today my tummy is back to normal. Legs don’t hurt. Lungs are back to normal.

The excitement is still there. I am completely aware of how hard I pushed myself and that if and when I do another half, I won’t be as sick afterwards because I will have had adequate time to train.

Or maybe all people who run halfs need three days to recuperate?

I feel good. I feel accomplished. After all, this was my ONE LAST THING. And now I can focus on other things. I wanted to run 13.1 before my 30^th birthday. I did that. I wanted to finish a half marathon. I did that. I wanted to run for myself. I did that.

I’ve proven to myself that breast cancer didn’t put a dent in my step. I proved that when I continued to run 5Ks after my diagnosis, moving up to a 10K, a 10-miler and then a half-marathon. I proved that when I rode 213 miles on my bike, from Philadelphia to Washington, D.C.

There have been lots of ways I heal from the breast cancer, and running is only one part of it. Running is the physical part, the control part, the my-body-my-rules part.

Other healing comes from this blog, from speaking at events, from sharing my story, from volunteering, from taking on new jobs and experiences, from making new friends, from going after what I want in life, for aiming high, for loving fully and from embracing imperfection.

Post-race: what's the best way to recover after a half marathon? Cuddle with your baby!

And running, in itself, is just a part of my life now. Like shopping or coffee, running makes me happy. Running feels good. I’ll always run. And now I need to say thank you to my body for getting me through 13.1 fast and windy and hilly miles. And give it a rest.

There’s a reason I feel the urge to keep signing up for races. Clearly. And I don’t know why, nor do I care. The important thing is I know when to give it a rest. When to say no. No thank you. No, sir.

I know when to scale back. And I know now is the time to do so. My body and mind tell me that training for another race won’t benefit me now. I get that.

In my heart of hearts I trust running will always be there. I don’t need to make it a priority. I don’t need to lasso it in.

It will be there when I’m ready for it. When the time is right.

Like a good cup of coffee. Like a nice pair of shoes. It has to feel right. It has to fit. It has to go down smoothly. I’ll know when it’s time.

Until then I bask in the glory. I ran 13.1 miles and I didn’t even chip my pedi.