Adele's rose gold key

I am amazed and blown away each day when I look at Adele. Some mornings I can’t stop staring at her.

When I’m changing her diaper or watching her play with her toys my eyes get locked into her eyes or on her cheeks or her hair or her hands and I can’t look away. I am amazed by this little beauty. This bubbly little baby who has so much passion, so much drive, so much strength, so much personality. I can’t stop staring. Each and every inch of her. I can’t believe it. No words exist to describe what it’s like to watch her grow, and to grow with her.

Superbowl party!

Her new noises, her new “words” and sounds, her new movements.

She’s added “uh oh” to her vocabulary, and uses it freely. That and “Dada.” And “Dadadadada.”

There is this brand new part of my heart that is discovered whenever she smiles or laughs. New parts of my heart are reached every day. I look at her, soft cheeks, curly hair, long eyelashes, and I still can’t believe this little creature is my daughter. So determined to move, reach, climb, sing, dance, play, laugh, smile, wave. Adele is a little party girl, just like me. She loves people, she loves to socialize, she loves to smile and get engaged in activities.

Adele with pigtails!

She smiles and cheers when she sees other children, and is busy right away as soon as we drop her off at school. She sits down with the other kids and gets right to her books.

When she reaches for me, or claps her hands when she sees me. When we pick her up from school and she waves and smiles and squeals with excitement. New parts of my heart.

It’s like she holds the key, and with each and every smile, each crease of her nose, each fluff in her hair, each point she makes with her fingers, each time she grabs my cheeks, she unlocks another chamber. This tiny rose gold key. And she unlocks new passages every day. New places. Places that were untouched until I become a mother.

I knew when I became a mom that my love for Adele would grow each day. But I didn’t expect my heart to grow new vessels, new chambers. I didn’t know my heart could get any fuller. Yet it does. It is heavy and light at the same time. It is filled with so much joy. So many feelings that don’t have names. So my thoughts that don’t come with their own pre-formed words.

We have all new routines now. Our evenings are spent with her on the floor as she explores all of her toys. Sometimes she pulls herself up on her walker, other times she crawls backwards throughout the living room. (we are still waiting on a forwards crawl!)

I am most content during these evenings, when I sit with her on the floor (with Campbell actively participating) as she explores her world.

Our bedtime routines have changed also, from an 8 p.m. final bottle to a 7-7:15 final bottle. Bedtime is now 7:30 or 8 p.m. and she is still sleeping through the night!

9 months on Jan. 26, 2015!

Our morning routines have changed. Now I need some extra time to do her hair. Her full, gorgeous curly hair.

Again, utterly blown away at how much she grows and changes.

With each new move, each unexpected laugh or sound, she unlocks another part of my heart I didn’t know was there.

I know it’s been a while since I wrote (more than a month!). We have all been doing wonderfully. Adele is developing beautifully, and each day she grows more. Since my half marathon I have taken a break from running, and have been going to hot yoga and cycling 2-3 times a week at a new studio I joined (PYP), and I LOVE it. It feels good to reopen my cycling legs and my yoga practice. These classes rejuvenate me.

When the weather starts to get better I will resume my outdoor running. For now, though, I am immersed in studio classes with my girlfriends.

We’ve had lots of fun plans, too, from yesterday’s Superbowl party to a pottery painting party with my girlfriends. We’re keeping warm and busy with book club, outings with friends and Penn State indoor sports watching.

Also, Pink Zone is coming up soon, and I am excited for Adele to attend her first game! This year I will be celebrating nearly 4 years as a breast cancer survivor.

February brings Valentine’s Day and a new season of House of Cards (Thank you, Netflix for getting me through the winter!), and March brings the YSC Summit in Texas and our THIRD wedding anniversary!

And April? Adele will be ONE!

My recent doc appointments have been great (with a great blood report from my oncologist). Work is amazing and busy and although I HATE the winter and all the snow we’ve gotten, I’ve managed to mostly keep my SAD at bay with those yoga and cycling classes, evenings with Adele, Sean and Campbell, and a big bowl of fruit I keep in my office at work. I know my body, and to survive the winter I need exercise and a lot of Vitamin C. That and a big bowl of cherries when Sean and I watch our TV shows together at night. That is my bliss. Baby sleeping soundly. Cherries. GIRLS on HBO. 

More to come later, but until now, pictures and love.

So, so much love.