Last week Sean got a new bike for Tour de Pink (a Giant) and he has begun training, including with clips! I am so proud of him! I went out on a 10 mile ride with him last night (following a 4.4 mile run which my legs are feeling both of this morning) with Pinky (my old, low, thick, heavy pink bike I used before Pink Flash), and I have to say, it took some getting used to again.
I will admit, this was my first real ride since Tour de Pink last September. Following TdP I was taking it easy and getting back into running and yoga. So I really hadn’t gotten on the bike. But when Sean and Julie signed up for Tour de Pink I made a commitment to be there “every step of the way” from training and fundraising and everything in between.
So I will and I am. I am literally doing everything EXCEPT riding in this year’s ride. I will train with Sean over these next six months (while fitting in my running), I am fundraising (I’m in the process of planning 2-3 fundraisers at this very moment) and I will organize team efforts, including recruiting team members, planning training rides, inviting people to the finish line, and designing and ordering jerseys. To date, Team Pink and Pearls has raised more than $3,000! Thank you to our friends and family who have supported us!
Since I last wrote we’ve had some very busy and fun weekends following Pink Zone weekend, including THON, and Sean and Alifia visiting this past weekend. So as usual it’s a whirlwind but I am really happy at the prospect of spring. We have a few more really cold days ahead, but overall the weather seems to be on the up and up. Plus, we celebrated daylight savings, so that’s a start! That means more morning runs for me, more evening bike rides for Sean.
While we are waiting for our potential baby we are kicking life into full gear, experiencing it all and putting ourselves out there. It’s not easy to commit to certain things while we are being shown to birth mothers (Tour de Pink and Ireland), but we have to, as per our adoption agency, as per my therapist, as per our friends and family and as per living a healthy life. Being in the midst of adoption doesn’t mean you stop and wait. It means you live as you normally would, and the baby will come (our baby will come) when it’s supposed to come. All it means is a baby will enter our lives, though we don’t know when and we don’t know how. And trust me, that is scary for me. But the best thing we can do is keep on keeping on. And it will all work out how it’s supposed to work out.
It really does feel like we’re sitting on the edge of our seats at all times. Or, at least I feel that way. And I’ve had that feeling before. But this time it’s different. This time it’s a happy waiting/uncertainty. And it’s a sign we are alive.
I was thinking, while in bed last night, how I got here. Weird, random and generic thought, I know. But all of a sudden I stopped to look around. I am 29, married to an amazing man, living in a beautiful home, healthier and happier than I’ve ever been, and will become a mother soon. How did I ever get so lucky?
Today’s is a short post in the big scheme of things. I just feel really grateful that spring is on the way and we’re back outside challenging ourselves and breaking boundaries while we wait for an exciting life change. Our world has the potential to be rocked every day. And sometimes we wait for it to rock and sometimes we make it rock.
Sean didn’t have to do Tour de Pink but he wanted to.
We take our passions and our strengths and we turn them into action. We use what we know, what we have and what we want to know and we bust through. How did I ever get so lucky to have found a life partner, a soul mate, who not only understands this, but shares this?
We have many differences, me and Sean, but where we come together most is in our drive, our dreams to do more, to be better, to live fully and to jump out from the sidelines.
We may be waiting on the edge of our seats, but we’re also jumping off our seats.
Time moves forward; the clock doesn’t stop ticking. We live now because that’s the only way we know how.
And I would never, ever, ever change that, even for a second.
It’s not just Li Fraumeni Syndrome that has taught me to live now because the future is uncertain, though I always thought that was a big part of it; it’s ME. I’ve always been passionate, even before cancers #1 and #2. I’ve always been me. And now, at 29, I have made myself proud. What a phenomenal feeling.
So much of my growing has been about learning to:
1. Never justify my decisions to anyone else
2. Never hold back in this blog (if I feel it, I write it)
3. Find my place in this world without compromising my beliefs (thinking of sharing my story to audiences and one day writing a book)
4. Changing the world in a way I know how (through my writing and my story)
5. Appreciate everything I have
6. Strive for more
7. Do my best every single day (and don’t beat myself up when I veer off course)
8. Accept the unknown
9. Understand I can’t control everything
10. Leave one lesson blank so there’s room to learn more
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