A light and fluffy survey

A wine can never be too dry, and you can never have too many napkins. 
Adele's poop doesn't gross me out, but crumbs do. Again, you can never have too many napkins. 

And now, here's a fun survey! 

I know I’m getting old when: wearing flip-flops makes my toes spasm. And I look forward to Lifetime movies I DVR in advance.

If I were stranded on a deserted island with only one food, what would it be: fresh Medjool dates. (if a person were asking me this question instead of a computer, I would have interrupted him or her mid-sentence with my answer).

Since becoming a mom, this has surprised me: how much I talk about poop. And how much our schedules revolve around the poops of Adele and Campbell. And how many words I use to describe poop. (Mainly, “poops” even if just referring to one singular poop). And how much I ask Adele about her “poops” even if I already know the answer. (“Did you make poops in your diaper?” Yes. The answer is always yes.)

My favorite part of the day: bedtime. For one and all.

I can’t recall the last time I: wore matching socks, washed my hair. Unpacked from a trip. Wore high heels. 

The worst thing I ate for dinner this week: pie. (If “worst” means unhealthy.)

The thing that’s surprised me most about my baby this week: how insanely fast she scarfs down food. I can actually HEAR her gulping down banana. It’s ridiculously cute.

My perfect morning: guilty as I write this, but before the baby wakes, and I get to watch Real Housewives on DVR with a humungous cup of coffee while Campbell lays on the couch next to me.

My perfect evening: in bed before 9 p.m., showered.

I hate being: itchy, tired, hungry, full, cold.

I love being: relaxed, hot.

Favorite office supplies: highlighters, dry erase markers and paperclips.

Least favorite office supplies: keyboards because they have crumbs and dust. 

Things that gross me out: crumbs and wearing my glasses in places I can see crumbs when I wouldn’t otherwise see them. And dust.

Things I do that my significant other/partner doesn't understand: my overuse of napkins during mealtime, and saving semi-dirty napkins after mealtime. How I don't unpack my suitcases, and instead use another, different suitcase when packing for an upcoming trip. My lack of matching socks and lack of desire to put away clean laundry in an effort to be able to identify matching socks. My "panic attacks" over listening to NPR; anticipating long car rides with dogs and babies; unpacking the car after a trip; procrastinating over simple household chores/tasks, yet planning birthdays and anniversaries months in advance; not eating dinner by 6 p.m. or not being finished with dinner by 7 p.m. 

The struggle is real when: I want to get a coffee but I'm too tired to move. I can fit into and buy children's shoes from Target and I'm all excited but then they give me blisters. 

I can't believe I (blank) in high school: ate Cheetos and Ramen noodles every day.

I won't knowingly eat: mayonnaise.

I won't knowingly drink: whole milk, soda, sweet wine. (blech)

Favorite drink: water, black coffee, red wine, green juice, coconut water, cherry chia Kombucha. 

Least favorite drink: anything carbonated. unless it's champagne. and milk. 

The struggle with being tall/short: short. People back up into me.

The benefit of being tall/short: short, again. I can buy junior girls' clothing. But then again, most of the time I don't know it's junior's until after I've already bought it.

People claim this about me: they can never hear me coming and are always surprised when I'm behind them. I don't know why I'm so sneaky.

I hate when people: open doors quickly. you never know who's behind it! and they could be carrying hot coffee! (I always open doors very carefully and slowly.)

You can never have too many: bracelets, shoes, fresh Medjool dates, bottles of wine, napkins.

You CAN have too many: un-filed papers, pens that don't work, receipts in your purse.