Tomorrow's the big day!

Here I am in Hershey! Today's doctor's appointment went well (ultrasound and all!) and my surgery is a GO for tomorrow! Tomorrow the expander comes out and I'll get my permanent silicone implants. I also was able to bring up my thoughts on having a prophylactic mastectomy with my breast surgeon, which was a huge relief. I made her aware of my thoughts, got her opinion and input on it, and basically, brought to her attention what I had been considering, which was my ultimate goal.
Tomorrow's surgery marks the end of this breast cancer journey, of this era, of this time in my life. Sure, I've got the recovery the few weeks that follow, but it's only good things that come after that.
Now I'm ON the fence. Before, I had approached it. Now, I'm on it and climbing over it. This time tomorrow, the fence will be gone and I'll be looking at the greener pastures that lie ahead.
Thinking back at everything I've been through, from April up until now, feels bizarre. It was six months that felt like 6 million years. Tomorrow, though, it really ends. I don't expect to feel relief right away; I'll be in pain and will have to get used to my new body, and of course there's still months and years of screening and anxiety, and possibly another mastectomy. But I can't focus on that. I've got to focus on what's ahead tomorrow. What's here and now: that my expander will come out, after nearly six months, and because I'll have implants, I'll slowly start to feel back to normal. And that's most important right now.
So now my focus is on tomorrow. The good surgery. The happy surgery. The reconstructive surgery. To fix me right up and help me move on. Tomorrow will bring many, many new thoughts, feelings and emotions. And I can't say now what they will be. But I'm hoping two of them are hope and relief. I feel them already. It's so hard to see the end, even with it really right in front of me, even with me ON the fence. But I know that will take time, and I accept that. I accept the challenges ahead of me. But I also know tomorrow will bring great things.
So, goodnight. This is my last post with my expander. My last post before my surgery. I'm ready. I feel like I've been waiting for tomorrow my whole life.