I think it's important to remind myself, each day if I can, what I have accomplished since April, what I'm capable of doing today, and what I will continue to do as my life moves forward. I can't forget, though I still have days of crying and anger, how far I've come.
What I've done: I beat breast cancer. I underwent a mastectomy with lymph node removal. I recovered. I underwent a painful expansion process. I got through it. I underwent another surgery, in which more skin was removed. I recovered. I underwent, yet again, a painful expansion process. I got through it. I underwent a third surgery in which my expander was removed and implants were put it on both sides. I recovered. I underwent genetic testing for the p53 gene. I got the news. I dealt with it. I took action to start my screening process, and to recommend testing for my family. I started thinking about when I would have my other mastectomy, and what this all means for starting a family.
What I'm doing: I'm recovering from my implant surgery. I'm not lifting "truck tires" yet, (thanks, Dr. Moyer!) but I am back to lifting weights, going to the gym, and just recently started sleeping on my sides! I'm planning my wedding. I'm thinking about what it means to have Li Fraumeni Syndrome. I'm going to work, planning parties, seeing friends and family. I'm traveling. I'm working on not letting my worry control my life, and not letting this recent diagnosis define me. I'm working to live and just BE, despite this recent news. I'm pedaling, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, on a bike, that now, is actually going somewhere. I'm sharing my story, today and every day, in a million different ways.
What I'm going to do: I'm going to continue to recover from my implant surgery. I'm going to continue to be proactive about my health, but not let anxiety consume me. I'm going to get screened and tested, and know, each day, what my cancer risk is, while not letting that control my life. I'm going to continue to plan my wedding. I'm going to get married. I'm going to have a family, in a way that hasn't yet been decided, but I will decide it, with Sean. I'm going to have another mastectomy. I'm going to recover from that. Some days I'm going to worry about cancer more than other days. I'm going to educate myself about Li Fraumeni Syndrome, and like with the breast cancer, join support groups and reach out to others in my situation. But I won't let that be all of me. I'm much more than this, and although it will help me to be a part of the LFS community, I can't let that be my whole community. I can't be consumed by thoughts of cancer. I'm going to keep doing THIS, which is different every day, and I'm going to keep writing about it along the way. I'm going to do things that are helpful and healing to me. I'm going to focus on good, happy things. I'm going to control my bitterness and accept that I'm different, and then find the good in it. I'm going to continue to share my story. I've got quite a lot to say.
I can't forget the progress I've made, and how far I've come in my many battles. I know I'm still fighting many of them, and may be for a while, but at least I'm getting somewhere. In the story of my journeys, I am both a snail and a jackrabbit. Sometimes my trails are clouded or covered in branches or thorns, and sometimes they are clean. Sometimes there are fences, and sometimes there aren't. Sometimes I can see my path, other times I can't. A lot changes ... all the time. But one thing remains consistent: I'm still moving. Some days I might move reluctantly, some days with ease. Some days I'm pretty sure I don't think I'm moving at all, or refuse to move. But I always do. So here we are, and my journey continues. I'll write my way through it, and be glad you're all along with me. This snail, or rabbit, has many friends along for the ride. So let's make it a good one.
True, we only have one life. But the most wonderful thing in the world, is that each day we're given another chance to live it.
And now, on a lighter, more cheerful note, here is a list I've compiled of things that help me "keep on keeping on."
Marjie's Tips for Happiness and Health:
1. Eat an apple a day. Really. One a day. And educate yourself about apples so when people ask what kind of apple you're eating, you can reply accordingly: Red Delicious, Granny Smith, Gala, Honeycrisp, etc. And learn the difference in the supermarket, too.
2. Paint your nails according to your mood, not the season.
3. Drink coffee. The bigger the mug, the better. And find a favorite brand, whether it's Starbucks, Maxwell House or Arbuckle's. When making your own coffee, always, always smell the grinds before putting them in. It helps with the "experience."
4. Watch TV shows that inspire you. For me, it's Fashion Hunters and Selling New York.
5. Wear a vintage brooch. And then talk about its "vintage-ness."
6. Eat chocolate. In moderation, and slowly.
7. Floss thoroughly. (Especially after No. 1 on this list)
8. Name your car and talk to it. Tell it if you're proud of it. For example, I always tell my '96 Corolla, Sylvester, if I'm proud of him for getting up the mountain on the way home from work. (He's old and worn out so he needs the motivation and support.) It's OK for your car to have middle and last names, too. Mine, since I got him at age 17: Sylvester Harrison Stromberg Pie. I call him Sylvie for short, but he doesn't like that because it sounds like a girl's name.
9. Talk to your plants and flowers when you water them. It's good for them, and it's good for you.
10. You don't have to wait until New Years Eve to wear glitter and sequins.
11. Make plans with friends, even if it's just a simple coffee date. Fill your calendar with things you'll look forward to.
12. Plan a party and then get a little stressed out about it. Just a little, though.
13. Read blogs that are of interest to you, even if it's a little weird. My favorite blogs are about vintage clothing, chocolate and home decor. Bird-watching blog OK.
14. Foods high in protein go a long way: non-fat Greek Yogurt and a handful of nuts.
15. Drink hot tea while curled up in a fleece blanket. It's really the best way to drink hot tea.
16. Say "hi" to animals as you pass by them, even if you're in your car and they can't hear you. (Cows and dogs appropriate.)
17. Plan your outfits for upcoming events in advance so you're not in a frenzy finding something to wear. There's nothing more stressful, really. Events in which you know your picture will be taken require more in-depth outfit planning.
18. With things that make your blood boil, such as someone tailgating you while driving, take a deep breath and remember: there's much more to life than this. I'm not going to waste my energy getting angry. And then pretend the @#$%^&-ass in the car behind you is a cute bunny wearing an Argyle sweater vest, and you can't be mad at a cute bunny with a sweater vest!
19. Tweet. Tweet like people care.
20. Put up pictures and cards around your house: on your refrigerator, dresser and desk, to remind yourself daily of the wonderful life you have and the wonderful people in it.
21. Worry less about what others think, especially if you're being true to yourself.
22. Hot pink leggings are acceptable for lounging, even if you're 26. (And for insurance, I'll say it's acceptable even when you're 27 so this list still applies to me two weeks from now.)
23. Own themed socks with things on them, and then wear them accordingly. For example, I wear my Betsey Johnson socks when I'm in a really good mood or have something important coming up, my Hanukkah socks during Hanukkah, Valentine's Day during Valentine's Day, etc., and anything with animals or coffee cups on them when I'm lounging around the house. That way I can see them all the time, as they aren't hidden by shoes.
24. Go all out in fashion, all the time. In other words, if you want to wear glitter heels to work, do it. If you want to wear bright red lipstick to CVS, do it. Life is too short to let your shoes and your lipstick just sit there and rot. Get yo' money's worth!
25. Google images of your favorite animal. To cheer myself up I Google pictures of Samoyeds.
26. Watch old TV shows that you enjoy, but are not "trendy" anymore. Ones that people routinely make fun of are even better. Laverne & Shirley, Little House on the Prairie, Designing Women, Who's the Boss and Veronica's Closet are some of mine.
27. Drink lots and lots and lots of water. Most importantly: a glass when you first wake up in the morning, a glass before each meal, and a glass before bed, unless you're a tinkler at night.
28. Exfoliate daily. And then moisturize.
29. Buy and use a candle that makes you hungry when you smell it.
30. MAKE YOUR OWN LIST!
*Disclaimer: Originally I wrote this post to be published tomorrow, so that my posts would be spread out more. But, this is my blog and I make the rules, so if I want to write two posts in a day, I should! And also, why wait?! I've written this for the world to see, after all.
I can't forget the progress I've made, and how far I've come in my many battles. I know I'm still fighting many of them, and may be for a while, but at least I'm getting somewhere. In the story of my journeys, I am both a snail and a jackrabbit. Sometimes my trails are clouded or covered in branches or thorns, and sometimes they are clean. Sometimes there are fences, and sometimes there aren't. Sometimes I can see my path, other times I can't. A lot changes ... all the time. But one thing remains consistent: I'm still moving. Some days I might move reluctantly, some days with ease. Some days I'm pretty sure I don't think I'm moving at all, or refuse to move. But I always do. So here we are, and my journey continues. I'll write my way through it, and be glad you're all along with me. This snail, or rabbit, has many friends along for the ride. So let's make it a good one.
True, we only have one life. But the most wonderful thing in the world, is that each day we're given another chance to live it.
And now, on a lighter, more cheerful note, here is a list I've compiled of things that help me "keep on keeping on."
Marjie's Tips for Happiness and Health:
1. Eat an apple a day. Really. One a day. And educate yourself about apples so when people ask what kind of apple you're eating, you can reply accordingly: Red Delicious, Granny Smith, Gala, Honeycrisp, etc. And learn the difference in the supermarket, too.
2. Paint your nails according to your mood, not the season.
3. Drink coffee. The bigger the mug, the better. And find a favorite brand, whether it's Starbucks, Maxwell House or Arbuckle's. When making your own coffee, always, always smell the grinds before putting them in. It helps with the "experience."
4. Watch TV shows that inspire you. For me, it's Fashion Hunters and Selling New York.
5. Wear a vintage brooch. And then talk about its "vintage-ness."
6. Eat chocolate. In moderation, and slowly.
7. Floss thoroughly. (Especially after No. 1 on this list)
8. Name your car and talk to it. Tell it if you're proud of it. For example, I always tell my '96 Corolla, Sylvester, if I'm proud of him for getting up the mountain on the way home from work. (He's old and worn out so he needs the motivation and support.) It's OK for your car to have middle and last names, too. Mine, since I got him at age 17: Sylvester Harrison Stromberg Pie. I call him Sylvie for short, but he doesn't like that because it sounds like a girl's name.
9. Talk to your plants and flowers when you water them. It's good for them, and it's good for you.
10. You don't have to wait until New Years Eve to wear glitter and sequins.
11. Make plans with friends, even if it's just a simple coffee date. Fill your calendar with things you'll look forward to.
12. Plan a party and then get a little stressed out about it. Just a little, though.
13. Read blogs that are of interest to you, even if it's a little weird. My favorite blogs are about vintage clothing, chocolate and home decor. Bird-watching blog OK.
14. Foods high in protein go a long way: non-fat Greek Yogurt and a handful of nuts.
15. Drink hot tea while curled up in a fleece blanket. It's really the best way to drink hot tea.
16. Say "hi" to animals as you pass by them, even if you're in your car and they can't hear you. (Cows and dogs appropriate.)
17. Plan your outfits for upcoming events in advance so you're not in a frenzy finding something to wear. There's nothing more stressful, really. Events in which you know your picture will be taken require more in-depth outfit planning.
18. With things that make your blood boil, such as someone tailgating you while driving, take a deep breath and remember: there's much more to life than this. I'm not going to waste my energy getting angry. And then pretend the @#$%^&-ass in the car behind you is a cute bunny wearing an Argyle sweater vest, and you can't be mad at a cute bunny with a sweater vest!
19. Tweet. Tweet like people care.
20. Put up pictures and cards around your house: on your refrigerator, dresser and desk, to remind yourself daily of the wonderful life you have and the wonderful people in it.
21. Worry less about what others think, especially if you're being true to yourself.
22. Hot pink leggings are acceptable for lounging, even if you're 26. (And for insurance, I'll say it's acceptable even when you're 27 so this list still applies to me two weeks from now.)
23. Own themed socks with things on them, and then wear them accordingly. For example, I wear my Betsey Johnson socks when I'm in a really good mood or have something important coming up, my Hanukkah socks during Hanukkah, Valentine's Day during Valentine's Day, etc., and anything with animals or coffee cups on them when I'm lounging around the house. That way I can see them all the time, as they aren't hidden by shoes.
24. Go all out in fashion, all the time. In other words, if you want to wear glitter heels to work, do it. If you want to wear bright red lipstick to CVS, do it. Life is too short to let your shoes and your lipstick just sit there and rot. Get yo' money's worth!
25. Google images of your favorite animal. To cheer myself up I Google pictures of Samoyeds.
26. Watch old TV shows that you enjoy, but are not "trendy" anymore. Ones that people routinely make fun of are even better. Laverne & Shirley, Little House on the Prairie, Designing Women, Who's the Boss and Veronica's Closet are some of mine.
27. Drink lots and lots and lots of water. Most importantly: a glass when you first wake up in the morning, a glass before each meal, and a glass before bed, unless you're a tinkler at night.
28. Exfoliate daily. And then moisturize.
29. Buy and use a candle that makes you hungry when you smell it.
30. MAKE YOUR OWN LIST!
*Disclaimer: Originally I wrote this post to be published tomorrow, so that my posts would be spread out more. But, this is my blog and I make the rules, so if I want to write two posts in a day, I should! And also, why wait?! I've written this for the world to see, after all.
I like number 11! A coincidence is that 11 is my favorite number too.
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