4th post of today {taking this all in}

I know I've already posted a bunch of times today, and for good reason. There's lots for me to sort out. I had an amazing bachelorette weekend that ended in unexpected surgery. As much as the surgery was unexpected, the results are moreso. I'm faced with learning how to deal with new normals, and finding NEW peace and balance (something I hadn't quite achieved yet) in the (now) weeks leading up to the wedding. I wasn't mentally or physically prepared to deal with another surgery (a fourth in six months), and how that leaves me after, which is without a breast. So where do I go from here? How do I gather my thoughts and my strength, and how do I garner my power, to find a way to keep going and to thrive in this time of my life where I need it the most?
Sure, this really isn't the best time to be dealing with multiple surgeries and the emotional and mental affects they have on you. Not any time before the wedding, and certainly not two months before the wedding. Funny. Life. But it happened anyway. My implant is out and we can't go back in time. Instead I have to learn, all over again, who to be in all this. Our RSVPs our floating in, fast. My first dress fitting, which WAS scheduled for Friday, has been pushed back. I need to find mastectomy bras. I need to deal with, YET AGAIN, ANOTHER, brand new normal. I was really, really ready for things to settle down. And as much as I hate all this that's happened these past few days, I accept the challenge, because I have no other choice. I accept the challenge that not many are faced with: how do I be a bride and feel beautiful and whole with only one breast? How do I feel beautiful and whole on my wedding day, and how do I feel like ME on my wedding day? How do I feel like ME with only one breast? What makes this bride different from all other brides? I could tell you a million different things. We could start with the breast cancer and then go onto how the reconstructive surgery didn't exactly "work," and then we could talk about a scary LFS diagnosis. Yes, all those things make me a different bride. At 27, especially. And no, I didn't ask for all of this, and I didn't ask for ANY of this.
What makes me different is the challenge (yet another one) I embark on, starting today. The breast cancer made its mark. I was diagnosed in April. It was taken out and reconstruction began. This was all supposed to be in the past. But what the breast cancer did - remains. It's effects remain. And they will, for months and years until my "breasts" are complete. But who has time to wait for surgeries and recovering and implants and expanders? I have to be complete now, with or without breasts. And I have to get married, with or without breasts. I have to remember what really, really counts. I am better than this, I am stronger than this, and I'm getting married on March 31 LIKE THIS.