Two months! (Lots of smiles, lots of curly hair)

One of Adele's new dollies

Adele is two months old today! I can barely remember when we first brought her home from the hospital, skinny legs and all; she barely opened her eyes. Today she is a bubbly baby! She smiles, she "speaks" (mostly "gah" and "bah"), she grabs her ring toys on her baby mat, she bops her head around. She had her two-month checkup on Monday and she was 12 pounds, 4 ounces and 23 inches long, which is 75th percentile for both height and weight. So she is growing and she is thriving, and every morning when I see her face it is glowing. Her eyes are bright and her cheeks are plump, almost like the just had the best sleep of her life. Every morning. A glowing face.

That's not to say we don't have our crying and fussy days (me too). She is just the most beautiful baby. Huge cheeks, curly hair, flailing arms and legs and enormous smiles.

Every day is a reward. Every day is a new journey.

Sean's staff at the Schreyer Honors College threw us a beautiful baby shower for Adele, and we continue to receive the most beautiful and thoughtful gifts. Our friends and family, near and far, have given their hearts to Adele. They love her fully. They have helped provide the most beautiful and loving home for her with the most beautiful and thoughtful gifts.

We are so grateful. We are so thankful.

We continue to learn and to embrace. I am a Mommy-In-Training. Some things are getting easier. Some days I still cry at frustration and shock - that we were thrown into this with little time to prepare. That our worlds were turned upside down. I ALLOW myself to feel that way without feeling guilty. Dr. Kelly told me it's important for me to embrace ALL of my feelings without guilt. I can feel frustration. I can feel like my world has shifted. I can feel panic and I can feel stress. I am allowed. Because none of that takes away from the blessing that is Adele.

I am allowed each and every one of my feelings, and none of them should be accompanied by guilt. All of these feelings are normal. At first I didn't allow myself to feel frustration because I thought it meant I wasn't grateful for Adele. Or that I shouldn't feel anything negative because we adopted. Adoption or not, blessed or not, I am STILL a new mommy and I am STILL allowed all of the emotions of "regular" mommies.

At Adele's baby shower! While we ate pizza and cake, Adele was passed around and admired :)

Best cake ever! Thanks, SHC!

Adele is the brightest light in our lives. And I am allowing myself to feel it all, experience it all. The joy, the terror, the panic, the happiness, the glory. 

Letting myself feel the negative emotions as well as the positive ones has been freeing for me. Some days I want to snuggle her and never let go. Some days I want to get away. Some days I just want to sleep. Some days I wonder how we did this and how we're doing this. 

But we are. We're doing it. And we're loving it. And we have this beautiful bubbly daughter who is growing right before our very eyes. And I smile at her and I laugh when she smiles at me. And I look into her eyes and sometimes I cry because she's so perfect and so beautiful and such a gift. And it's hard to let myself feel all of it. Those feelings will come. Because honestly I think I'm still in shock that this happened. I'm still in shock that two months ago we brought home this baby.



I went to the winery with Karishma (who came to visit!) and some girlfriends last weekend. New mommies, especially, need their time away with the girls!



And she is our baby. And I'm still understanding that I'm a mother. And I'm still learning to allow all of the feelings. And I'm still figuring it out. And that's OK.

There's no rule book. That's the most exciting thing of all.

 

Our good friend Lauren took some professional photos of Adele, myself and Sean at the Arboretum on Penn State's campus last weekend. They were our first professional photos with Adele. We can't wait to see them! (Here I'm just having fun!)

At the Arboretum

There's no right or wrong in learning it all and even embracing it all - the good and bad emotions. I have time and I will allow myself time to let my feeling and emotions fall into place.

Again, I can't believe we're doing it. But we are. We're already doing it.