I could have missed it

What scares me the most about this whole thing, and yet is something I shouldn't focus on, is what IF I didn't catch it? What if I never did self exams? What if it was months later, or even years, until it was found? What then?

Part of the reason I created Pink and Pearls is to raise awareness about young women and breast cancer. If this blog reaches one person who doesn't know she is at risk, and begins doing self-exams, then I'd be satisfied.

Women my age don't get mammograms. Nobody tells us to. Even women with a family history (mom, sister or grandmother) who had breast cancer, aren't recommended to get regular mammograms until they are 35, and that is EARLY, according to current recommendations. 35! 35? What about women in their 20s, and they do exist, and women even younger? What about this whole population who isn't getting mammograms?

Young women who don't get mammograms have two ways they can check for cancer: do self-exams, or have their doctor do an exam every YEAR at the gynecologist. Even mammograms aren't 100 percent effective in picking up tumors; nothing showed up on my mammogram because the tumor was so small.

I want doctors and researches to talk about and study young women and breast cancer. How is it different when a 20-year-old gets it, than a 50-year-old? What about fertility from chemotherapy? What about women who are getting married, haven't had kids yet, and want to? What about women who ARE pregnant when they are diagnosed? What about US?

Not that this is any lack of faith in the medical system (but rather re-confirms how much this ISN'T talked about amomg my age group), but when I found my lump, two seperate doctors (one oncologist and one general surgeon) told me not to worry, women my age don't usually get breast cancer, and it was probably a cyst. Thank goodness they recommended a test anyway.

I have been doing self exams, literally, as long as I can remember ... I started somewhere in my teenage years. Why? Because it was somehow engrained in my mind that it was the right thing to do. I did it regularly, almost subconsciously, never expecting to find anything. I did it without thinking, that's how much of a habit it became. It was like brushing my teeth: I always did it but never thought too much about it. And it could have saved my life.

Maybe it was the childhood cancer that's made me neurotic about my health, or the fact that when I do things habitually I do them forever. Or maybe both. I can't think about the WHAT IF's anymore; I DID find the lump and I AM being treated. I'm just saying there was a slim line there. Between me doing regular exams and not. I don't believe most 26-year-old do exams, or even know what to look for. They don't have to know. They just have to be aware of their bodies and report any changes...ANY changes. Don't ever feel stupid.

When I first found the lump and the doctors told me it was most likely a harmless cyst, my mind really did believe them. It didn't make sense, rationally, or even medically, for me to get breast cancer. I'm healthy and 26 with no real family history. My mind said to believe them; they are doctors. My heart knew something was wrong.

I just want young ladies to be aware that this can happen. Don't make yourself scared, just be aware and be knowledgeable. Just because nobody really talks about it doesn't mean it's not real. Because I did exams, I found the lump, and because I did it was so early that my treatment was/is minimal. Had it spread it would have been a different story.

Just know, and this is all I urge, is that only you know your body. You know when something's not right.