It's not over yet

Although I've only been "dealing" with the breast cancer since April, it feels like something that's been a part of my life for years. First I found the lump and awaited multiple test results. Then I waited for my surgery date. Then I waited for the pathology report from the surgery. Then I waited to recover from the surgery and hear the next steps in my treatment plan. Now I am waiting for the next surgery date, and after that will wait to hear the pathology from the removed skin. If the skin comes back positive for DCIS radiation WILL most likely be needed after all to clean up any cancer cells left. If the margin comes back "clean" it could very well be the end of my treatment. But we don't know. It feels like I've been in a whirpool of waiting and questions and unknowns; after one comes another, and another, and another.

All I want is for this to be over and for me to know the cancer is gone, and that everything was done to prevent its recurrence. That goal, however, seems so far away. The light at the end of this tunnel feels clouded; it's hard for me to see the end.