An army of many

"Sometimes our flame goes out, but is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being." -Albert Schweitzer

Today I took a little work break to have coffee (and two very small bites of sticky bun!) with a friend from my Weight Watchers meetings. We'd been emailing back and forth lately because I told her about my breast cancer, and she wanted to get together. And you know me, I'm always about making plans!
As a retired medical professional, it was very refreshing to talk to her about everything I've been going through, from the margin to pathology reports, etc. Not only was she a joy to talk with (we talked about my wedding plans, my past and upcoming surgery, her recent vacation to Yosemite, amongst other things), but she told me she had been praying for me every night. She said she also believed that the two of us became connected, or friends, for a reason, and how we meet random people throughout our lives that are meant to impact us in a variety of ways. Obviously I believe everything does happen for a reason, I mean, after all, I took a job in the middle of Pennsylvania two weeks after I graduated college, prepared to leave after a year, and now three years later, I am happier than I've ever been, and getting ready to marry the love of my life.
My "life path," if you will, worked out exactly how I'd always dreamed it would. And maybe that's because of a little spontaneous move to Pennsylvania to work at a small town daily newspaper - which was in 2008, and still is today, my real passion. After college I followed my dreams, and because of that, some other ones came true, too.
But back to my friend. This is someone I've only spoken to maybe a handful of times, and have only known less than a year, yet she has been keeping me in her prayers all this time and has been thinking about me a lot. And this is the case for so many of my friends and family, and Sean's friends and family, who I now consider my own. The support I've gotten from everyone has been phenomenal. I can't even put into words the overwhelming support people have given me. The constant thoughts and prayers and blessings. The reading of my blog and following my story. The Susan G. Komen walk my aunt and cousin are doing in my honor this fall. A recent donation to the Susan G. Komen Foundation, in my honor, that some of our friends made. The flowers, the candy, the gifts, the emails, the cards, the phonecalls.
I realize, each and every day, I literally have an army behind me. I've got hundreds of people who are not only supporting me and giving me strength, but taking this journey WITH me, going through these feelings and emotions WITH me. They have entered my heart and soul and are there to help guide me, listen to me, pick me up and carry me.
I was reminded of this with my friend today, but I'm also reminded of it every day, and sometimes more than one time a day, when I get a comment on my blog, or a new follower, or when someone passes along a few nice words to me or Sean.
So, yes, we are meant to meet these special people throughout our lives. Some friendships fade while others remain strong and consistent for decades. But each of these people has an unwritten mission to touch our lives in even the littlest way, even if it just a coffee date that lifts up the rest of your day.
I remember each and every gesture my friends and family have done for me since my diagnosis, and I keep these thoughts in my mind. I only wish others are as lucky as me to have an army behind them, every step of the way.
I've wanted to write this post for quite some time but never was able to because when I think about the support I've gotten from everyone I literally can't find the words. There is too much to write about. But, I guess as a writer, you wait for something to prompt you, like my coffee date, and then the words just come out. I am still struggling with this post because I'll never be able to put into writing the appreciation, the gratefulness, I feel, because of the amazing people in my life. It is something so monumental it can't be captured in writing, and that's OK.
If you remember in my last post, Countdowns & timelines, I talked about the path I'm on now as I'm waiting for my next surgery, and what it feels like: lot's of tree branches and thorns that I climb over or push aside. That I'm on an arduous road with no clear terrain ahead. But little moments like today, and the moments that really happen every day, help lighten that path for me. Every time I get a good blessing or prayer from someone, or kind words, there's a little rose that blooms from a thorn. That rose (OK, I'm getting 11th-grade poetry class here, sorry) helps make the path a little more pretty to look at, and its beauty presents new meaning and hope.
When I picture my Army of Many, as I like to refer to it, I see a band of people behind me, (wearing pink and pearls?) and they're either standing, walking or running, depending on what I need and where I am. Sometimes I need them to stand behind and beside me when I'm feeling down, to remind me I have people who love me. Sometimes I need them to walk with me to surgery. And sometims I need them to run because the fight has just gotten harder. And they always do. In a million different ways.
I really can't explain, still, what it feels like to have so many people rooting for you and praying for you and hoping for nothing but the best for you. All I can say is it helps me through this. It does more than help; it GETS me through this. My army is the best there is: strong, consistent, loyal, compassionate, understanding, and most of all, full of love. Because of them, I am empowered, over and over again every day, to plow through the thorns and branches.
Cancer is strong, but my army is stronger.